The Iraq War: A Whole Load of Arse

Osama's new disguise had been even more succesful than he'd anticipated. With the infidels lulled into a false sense of security he prepared to whip out the bazookas.

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Life's tough for American marines in Iraq "who deploy for seven months at a stretch, are forbidden to consume alcohol, have no real opportunities for social interaction with the Iraqi population and routinely travel down roads seeded by roadside bombs". Apparently, one of the few upsides is periodic tours by "attractive starlets" like the Purrfect Angelz:

The Haditha Dam is in a hostile stretch of the Euphrates River 140 miles northwest of Baghdad where the marines do battle with insurgents in the oppressive heat. But for a few hours this summer, the chow hall inside the dam was transformed into a theater for five shapely dancers who seemed to embody many a young marine’s fantasy.

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For the Purrfect Angelz, it was a stop on a tour that also took them to bases like Al Qaim and Taji. The dancers, former cheerleaders, calendar models and aspiring actresses, have an active schedule in the United States, much of which consists of events for motorcycle riders. By design, the routines at Haditha are a bit tamer than the biker fare.

"We want to make it more about talent than being risqué," said Tanea Brooks. "We are not going to boost every part of the morale." Her credits include a three-year stint as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, a role in a country music video, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins, and a turn as quarterback for the New York Euphoria, one of the teams that established the Lingerie Football League, in which models played football dressed in lingerie.

The Angelz, (whose "heavenly website" can be found here) aren't just there as an aid masturbation, they serve a political purpose as well:

A recent show began with an entreaty by a diligent sergeant who saw the event as an opportunity to appeal to the marines to re-enlist. He was loudly shouted down. An announcer who was traveling with the dance group told the marines not to pay attention to news media reports that the American public did not support the war. The nation, she said, was solidly behind them.

Such heartfelt paens to patriotism don't come for nothing: "David Chavez, the president of Pro Sports MVP, which organized the tour, said that it was paid for by the military and that the expenses consisted of travel costs and small stipends." Some killjoys have suggested that taxpayers money might be better spent on body armour, but the marines themselves seem to love it:

Sgt. Dale Gooden, 31, a Marine reservist from Jacksonville, Fla., who is assigned to the dam security unit, saw the show as a sign that the American public had not forgotten about the troops. The most impressive part of the show, he said, was "just the fact that they came out here to see us."

That said, not everybody's so keen: "During the group’s 2005 visit to Baghdad, a female Air Force officer complained that the dancers’ wardrobes and routines encouraged insensitive attitudes toward women in the military." But it's not like we need to worry about US marines holding insensitive attitudes towards women is it?